He hadn't had a chance to tell her that he was sorry. Really sorry. And he couldn't help but wonder how different things would have been if he had never gone over to her house that night - if he had never returned that kiss.
These words belong to Jackson Laurel in my novel Into the Night and Gone. In many ways, they define him.
Jackson has a habit of living in the “what if.” He replays moments, imagines alternate endings, and wonders how a single decision might have changed everything.
And it costs him a lot.
But I think that’s a very human struggle. I’ve felt it myself, and I’m sure you have too. Sometimes life hinges on small choices- a visit, a conversation, a kiss – and when things fall apart, it’s easy to trace the fracture back to that one moment and sit there in it.
I don’t blame Jackson for that. I don’t blame myself. And I certainly don’t blame any of you who’ve done the same.
But we can’t live there, my friends.
At some point, we have to accept that the past is fixed. There’s no BACKSPACE key, and it does not reopen for edits. It will not negotiate. But that’s where healing begins. Not in rewriting what happened over and over again in our heads, but in learning to move forward anyway.
If you see yourself in Jackson, I hope you find peace with the parts of your story you can’t change.
And I hope you remember this: you are worthy of love – not because you did everything right, but because of who you are.